The Good News Is I took Notes…

A Bio of Karie Evans

 

The first thing to note about Karie Evans is her distaste for writing about herself in the third person, so please bear with.

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I was born in Tennessee, uprooted to San Francisco, escaped to LA, and ricocheted off New Jersey back to California. I feel like a Baz Luhrmann song. I’m neither too soft nor too hard.

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I spent my childhood in a southern Methodist church, believing the devil was hiding behind every corner, just waiting to steal my soul. So, obviously, as an adult, I wrote a novel, Lightbringer, in which I redeemed the great destroyer so he would no longer be a threat to anyone’s soul. You’re welcome.

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I worked in Manhattan on Elle magazine’s then-fledgling website Elle.com. I quit partly because the implied stiletto dress code was wearing on my bunions. Also, someone convinced me to travel. Quitting Elle saved my life (see bad luck reference below – although considering I’m alive, maybe my luck isn’t all bad).

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I worked with the mafia in waste management in Newark, New Jersey, but I will deny this in a court of law.

I owned a used car dealership in Riverside, California, which felt like working with the mafia.

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I’ve been in marketing for over 15 years, currently in financial services, an industry that, incidentally, also feels like working with the mafia but with less loyalty.

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Eric Kripke and Sera Gamble are my spirit animals. Not that I’m a witch who curses a lot; but I’m not not a witch who curses a lot.

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I believe Die Hard is a Christmas movie, and I think if you don’t watch It’s a Wonderful Life every Christmas, you are some kind of heathen.

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I completed college with over 200 units (you only need 120 to graduate, which I didn’t even do). I majored in History and English, minoring in comparative religion – credit the last bit to spending Sundays AND Wednesdays in church as a kid – what the hell was it all about?

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I have written everything under the sun from scripts to novels and non-fiction to short stories. Even a poem – just one, which if I knew how to write music would have made a better song.

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I’m bad luck.

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I was in New York for September 11th (a tiny twist of fate and I wouldn’t be here today) and in the Bay Area during the 1989 Loma Prieta 7.0 earthquake. Don’t stand too close to me.

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I’m very professional. I’ve been a boss. I’ve been an employee. They both suck, but winning the lottery is not in the cards (bad luck, remember).

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In hindsight, every strange turn in my life eventually became a story. The good news is, I took notes.